In 2009...

Im gonna change the world.
Im gonna run the Chicago marathon
Im gonna live my life with passion.
Im gonna refuse to get burnout
Im gonna stay out of the blotter
Im gonna start a college fund for JJ
Im gonna start a group for teen boys.
Im gonna ride my bike to the end of the earth
Im gonna refuse to give up
Im gonna vote for mayor of kankakee
Im gonna watch my Illini go to the NCAA tourney
Im gonna gain weight in pure muscle
Im gonna go camping.
Im gonna make new friends
Im gonna shower those less fortunate than me with love and acceptance.
Im gonna live the dream.
Im gonna volunteer.
Im gonna leave this world better then I found it!

2009... Here I come!!

week of change.

well. the time has finally come... i have found a place in Kankakee and I will be livin' the dream in the K-thrilla from now on. I havent even left my house yet and i am already home sick.. lol. I have learned so much lately and I am trying to be as teachable as possible because its worth it to learn by listening instead of experience....

I am really loving the job and I feel like I am beginning to make an impact. it so sad to know why people are in our building and my heart breaks in to so many pieces every week when this tiny little one walks past my office. it makes me angry too.. it makes me want to shoot every man and women who does this to people. it makes me want to take every convicted sex offender to Niagara falls toss them over and say a prayer for their souls. it doesnt seem fair for someone so small and innocent to have to go through counseling because of someone else selfishness. i know most offenders have been victims at once but that means we need to do something to stop the cycle. it wont ever end til we stand up and say NO MORE! ugh. ok... see... its thanksgiving and i am still ranting and raving.

i am so thankful for my job. I am thankful to be able to make in impact in any way i can. I am thankful for a loving family who never took advantage of eachother. I am thankful for supportive friends. God is good. Life is grand.

why do some people...

like they dont have enough business of their own they gotta go mindin' mine...


silly.

thankful for...

my parents, my God, my friends, the CRC, Ron, Davey, Pete, Denise, Alex, Annalise, Kristin, my brothers, sister-in-laws, freedom, nephew, nieces, a car, a job, hope, friends, supporters, family, health, opportunities, college degree, no more school, miracles, Serae, JJ, laughing, Andrea, money, warm bed, privilege, heros, mentors, examples, parents who made me finish, lessons learned, KC-CASA, new friends, old ones, chance to work with people, jan, houston, Kankakee, the past, the future, the present. cheap gas, Ashley, CASA, New Life, Nelly, Johnny, Pastor, Christie, Michelle, Omar. Social work, Olivet, Mr. Fuller, my mom. karma, my new bike, basketball, soccer, a voice, songs, my wife (someday), Matt, Bric and Suzan. did i mention the CRC. my kids, Michael, jobs, cash, helping people. seeing smiles, feeling hurt. being thankful.

i cant even think of any more all i know is everyday i wake up I am more privledged and blessed. i refuse to forget all i have and all i get to see and be involved in everyday. i am blessed beyond belief. no doubt.


overwhelmed.

thankful

if only...

we could have another president like this...



Dear Madam,

I have been shown in the files of the War Department a statement of the Adjutant General of Massachusetts that you are the mother of five sons who have died gloriously on the field of battle.

I feel how weak and fruitless must be any word of mine which should attempt to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming. But I cannot refrain from tendering you the consolation that may be found in the thanks of the republic they died to save. I pray that our Heavenly Father may assuage the anguish of your bereavement, and leave you only the cherished memory of the loved and lost, and the solemn pride that must be yours to have laid so costly a sacrifice upon the altar of freedom.

Yours, very sincerely and respectfully,

A Lincoln.

A letter written to a mother who lost her 5 sons in battle by Lincoln... Truly one of our greatest presidents.

still a kid.

i love acting like a kid... i figured i had done it for so long why change...

you know your still a kid when your whole mouth is blue all day from a gumball

you know your still a kid when you walk along any curb you can find like a balance beam

you know your still a kid when it takes all you can do to pay attention in church

you know your still a kid when you cant keep your shoes tied

you know your still a kid when you get the newspaper for the cartoons.

you know your still a kid when you manage to get your clothes dirty within minutes of starting your day! ughhh... my worst problem..

you know your still a kid when you relate better with kids!

you know your still a kid when your still fascinated by glow in the dark stuff

you know your still a kid when you can act like one and still be respected by adults!

you know your still a kid when you live the dream everyday!

I will forever be a kid and prolly live a lot longer because of the stress freeness.... : )

Try it! Its fun!

we will see.

Just pray.





Planting seeds of hope, harvesting fields of changed lives.

you got my heart little girl

So I was able to go spend some time with the sweetest little girl in the whole world. Serae Jackson is nothing short of a miracle. No other word describes her. I have seen one other miracle in my life and Serae is the second. It was such a good feeling to hold her and know God is still in control. We often look at the world around us falling apart, going so many different directions, and so many people losing hope but seeing this little baby gives me hope that what me and all my social work buddies are doing is paying off. Serae has doesn’t know her story but her mom does, her grandma does, and hundreds of others who prayed for her do. What a princess… the closest feeling I have ever felt to pure love. I teased on my way out that I would bring my child support check next week… but until there is a father in that young girls life who will look out for it then that’s what I will do.

The plan is to see her once a month. As it goes now and how much I have thought about her all day I might make it every other week. : ) I cant wait till she gets bigger and we can go to Culver's and get ice cream!!

: )

THANK YOU to all my awesome friends for the support… I could NOT have done this without you!

Planting seeds of hope, harvesting fields of changed lives…

it takes a village,

to raise a child.

i have been thinking a lot about "community" not the actual buildings, houses, or businesses but the people. some communities have reputations, good or bad. corrupt or doing right. snobby or friendly. community has been what my life have been all about the past few years. the opportunities of a community. the love of a community. the learning in a community. tonite i was at a benefit for a sweet little girl named Timber who has leukemia. i was invited after letting them use my sign for advertising which was the least i could do. the "community" at this event was so inspiring. the eclectic group of people made me realize when someone is in need people will come from any background to help. thats a community. even though many traveled very far or were strangers to nearly everyone i felt like i was involved in something, everyone felt like that. thats a great feeling.... community.

theres no I in community, wait.. yes there is... theres no ME in community.

find a community of your own. get involved. change the world. you will never regret it!

i dunno...

i am a little skeptical about mrs. palin. i dunno about this lady. i already voted for someone just because they were conservative and i regretted that! it makes me chuckle to see conservatives swoon over the mccain ticket just because he played his cards right knowing that he would get votes if he added sarah to his campaign....

this in no way means i am voting the other way. so dont judge me those who judge as a part time job... i am thinking out blog. not out loud. out blog.


who am i gonna vote for?? i will follow my dads example. i aint telling... maybe cuz he knew no one would agree... wait... that means my dad might be a democrat! i could never know!

i hope he reads this... cuz if he does and i show up missing this weekend... you might want to look in the cornfield behind our house!

the last one...

dave always told me... "you will learn to say no soon" i really enjoy being involved in lots of agencies and different events but after this weekend i learned i am gonna get burn out soon. its great to work and volunteer in tons of different areas but i did all of those things when i was in college and without any full time job. now that i have that i have been trying to balance both.... after sunday i am realizing its not gonna work. i spent all day sunday on the couch passed out and having no motivation at all. i dont normally do that.. ok i mean i do lay on my couch a lot but i dont sleep for several hours and stare at the wall in my own little world for hours. i love the life i live. its great to see the rewards of helping people and meeting new people! but there has to come a time in each one of our lives where you just say i need this for me. i got there this weekend. i am volunteering for CASA now which is going to be very time conusming but i do feel like i will make an impact on a childs life who needs it. so i am gonna stick with it... but after that i am gonna take a break. i cant start a week knowing every nite is gone for the rest of the week.... dont get me wrong... i am not complaining at all cuz i realize i did get myself into all of this but i am writing this so i can go back and look at this blog and know how i was feeling when i was overwhelmed! : ) you have all been where i am i am sure just feel good to write it out sometime....

still.... livin the dream!

im the lucky one.

i love my blog cuz i can say what i want and no one can stop me. ha

today i was honored, stunned, and overwhelmed to say the least to get an award from the CRC!

Stevie, one of our kids said all kinds of nice things that i thought he was saying to someone else and the person i was thinking deserved all the nice words to. the last line of the "speech" said "but most of all in our eyes, we know that Eric Hoots is a great success at bringing out the best in us." and the first thing that came to mind was it was the other way around... the CRC... the kids there, the people who are involved in running it, and the supporters of it are the ones who have changed my life. when i found the CRC i was lost. i was discouraged, heartbroken and needing a place to make me smile the moment i walked in the doors i knew i found the place. so here is what the community resource center is to me...

its a place where i feel loved and appreciated
its a place where i have found two of my best friends
its a place that allows me to make mistakes and then teach me what i did wrong
its a place that lets me build relationships with amazing kids.
its a place that helps me meet people in our community and be involved
its the place that developed my passion for helping others.
its the place that helped me work on my jump shot... that is still awful
its the place that allowed me to be me.
its the place that made me look forward to 4 and to getting my kids off the bus.
its the place that taught me how to learn all aspects of social work
its the place where i found the two greatest mentors that respect me and have given me so much
its the place the brings out the best in ME...

so blog readers from the CRC... I am the lucky one. I could never thank you enough for the passion, acceptance, and love you have shown me from day one. i could never say thank you enough for the memories and the laughs. i never wanted to leave and if i could live off an hour and a half salary everyday... i would be there! so thank you for the honor and surprise... and thanks for just being there for me.

CRC 4 life. check!

life is like...

i had the awesome opportunity to take my beautiful orange bike all over the city this weekend following the runners participating in the marathon. 26.2 miles of running on city streets has got to take a toll on anyones body. i was able to stand along a cheer, encourage, scream, and i even rub some lady's calf who cramped up right in front of me. at that point i realized that life is like a marathon....

in the marathon of life we run and run. sometimes we even walk or stumble and some even quit. we run through the challenges, the hills, the rough patches in the road, through the crowds. on this run of life we see many things. we see the course ahead and when i was a freshman in college i think it was the first time i felt overwhelmed and thought that part of my life would never end. now i am just starting my first month of a being in the real world and i feel as if retirement will never come. not only have i looked at the course but i remember the people around. the ones on the sidelines. the encouragers, the discouragers, or the ones who just watch. i can remember some of the encouragers on my life. mr. fuller is the first one who comes to mind. my friend adam. jan and houston. kristin. my parents. ron and dave. the list goes on and on. i also look back in the distance and see the discouragers. the ones who questioned my passions. the ones who thought the only way i could serve was in the church. the ones who said a loud mouth ADD kid would never make it. i also see the ones who never said anything, the ones who stand and stare or offer nothing. the race of life is tough. theres lots of hills and valleys, the times where the streets are lined with screaming fans. the times where the course is vacant and you swear you are all alone. i love this race. i would never ever take back anything.... overall my course as been gold paved streets. i am priviledged to be raised by amazing parents who gave all for their kids. i now have a college degree that so many people in this country and world would die to have. i have a job which are few and far between in our present time and i have the ultimate gift... the opportunity to impact others. the chance to help cheer on another. to rub out the "cramps" of life. to encourage the people who are right around the corner but cant quite see the finish line. what a great opportunity! and i plan to take advantage of it everyday!

as i watched the race yesterday i got chills and even teared up thinking about all the time and passion these people had put into this and i couldnt help but be so proud of everyone of the races. even the ones who didnt finish. i felt so good as i stood at the 26 mile marker and i would see someone walking and looking abosolutely spent and i had a part in to encouraging them to finish strong and then they would start to run again. that made me feel great and to think that i meet so many people who are walking, crawling or even planning to sit down and on the race of life and i am able to encourage them, give them hope, and see them start to walk again or sometimes even jog. what a life! i love it!

keep running....

i wish you could feel my stomach.

you ever get that feeling of extreme contentment? like when you accomplished a lot in one day and you know your going to sleep like a baby! i love that feeling and i have it almost everyday.

today was great. i felt the feeling of being a real advocate today. it such a great feeling to give someone a little hope! a little encouragement.... right at the point in their life when they feel like its falling apart. theres nothing like hearing a smile over the phone. and theres nothing like getting other people involved in helping others too!

social work is great.

Oh and i got to finally paint my office. the walls are no longer pink.

lets start the movement...

i am with you on the movement. lets start it and watch it grow. taking true, unadulterated love to new heights and depths. love never expecting anything in return. passion that sees change. heart that is so contagious millions follow. light that permeates the darkness of our society and demands change. hope that sends a message of acceptance! i am in. if your reading this and you get the same feeling down deep in your heart that just longs to see this world be better because you poured your life into others than you should join too!

i got a job to do. i cant do it for anyone else the only thing i can do is show people how easy it can be to impact a life.... just a smile can change a persons day.

ugh. we have got so much potential and how many of us arent using it! nothing in life can be wasted more than a talent.

ok goodnite. ha

cubs are awful.

my post has nothing to do with that i just had to get it out.

its been a great week! i love the job. i am finding its consuming my mind and i should prolly be careful or else i will get burnout in a few weeks. i guess i struggle with the people just being selfish and having no consideration of the feelings of others. kinda gets old.

i do think i have found my next job. i am going to start working towards being a probation officer. kc-casa is going to teach me so much. the court system is a great place to be. you see everything. judges, cops, probation, lawyers, states attorneys, innocent people, guilty people, people who just did something stupid, and people that if you had half the chance you would throw them out a 3rd floor window for what they have done. i have learned so much. my supervisor and my co-worker are great. they help me learn and genuinely dont mind helping me. which makes it so much easier to learn and learn quickly.

i was able to get back in contact with the kid i am mentoring which is great and i get to see him this weekend! life is grand. everyday just makes me more thankful for the amazing life i get to live everyday and so thankful i was raised in a good home and didnt have to worry about some of the stuff these kids have to see. hopefully i can offer them just a taste of all the blessings i have had.

livin the dream.

Life isn't fair and I dont care what anyone says.

when some sick old man steals the innocence of a little girl because he cant satisfy himself any other way i would say that life is not fair.


its tough. get a helmet and some mase.


overwhelmed.

Maybe we should think twice?!?!?

I was interviewed for the newspaper this week on what i thought about the debates. I strictly answered that question... the debates. I thought that Obama did a better job and spoke of his intentions clearly, I felt like McCain attacked Obama and should have just stuck to the issues. I am still undecided but after seeing this video and now and the prowl to find out more information I might have made my choice. If this video is true... and I WILL find out his voting record on this bills then I dont care if Mickey Mouse runs for president I will not vote for a murderer. And who ever reads the blog. Christian or atheist, my friend or enemy, conservative or liberal if you knowingly vote for someone who votes directly against saving young lives, breathing, outside of the womb... They need to be punished. Scott Peterson who was convicted of killing his wife and UNBORN baby is sitting on death row for TWO counts of murder. I think if someone passes and votes on such bills that gives power to nurses and doctors to do this kind of horrible acts should but on death row with Peterson. Watch this video... dont be a typical American and just believe what you see... research. dig in and find out if this what you will be supporting.

Exercise your right to vote by informing yourself and making the best choice for your future AND your childrens future. Some of the choices made in this election I beleive will affect our country for many, many years.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIdbYjmbFzo

"Our lives begin to end the day we grow silent about the things that matter" ~MLK Jr.

This quote sums up my feelings from the previous post. This and what Ron said.

I was thinking about how some people sleep. I mean I sleep like a rock I put in my time all day livin the dream. I work hard. Play harder. But sometimes I think about those who do horrible things to others or animals or to themselves and wonder how they sleep.

OK take for instance. How does a grandpa who takes advantage of his granddaughter sleep at night?? Or the person who committed a murder but slipped through the cracks sleep? Or a car salesman who rips people off knowing the car is complete crap but still sells it to the single mom with three kids? Its sad how people like that are able to sleep but then you have the single Mom who puts her all into her children and will forever have bags under her eyes. Or the Pastor who strives to see something happen in his "Jerusalem" but his children have less so he can do it. Or the detective who has to tell a family their son was killed innocently by gang crossfire.

Its a strange world and society we live in. Seems all kinda unfair. Plenty for me to strive for to change!! I dunno why more people don't become social workers. Not like your ever gonna run out of work... you might not get paid but there will always be work!

Live the dream... Help someone!

out numbered? i dont care i am still gonna blog about it!

first. just because an issue is not talk about on a regular basis by our so called "future" of america does not mean its not an issue. its kinda like one of those conversations you never want to have with someone so you never bring it up or even say anything remotely close to the issue just so there is no chance that you might have to talk about it.

second. there is something we can do about abortion. I did. try it! if your content enough to sit back in your nazarene/christian/sheltered/religious bubble and NOT do anything about then the blood of everyone of those innocent lives will be on your hands. good luck explaining that someday.

"Oh Hi God, yeah i know what you said about life and how precious it is to you, but ya know... it just wasnt worth it to care about it anymore cuz you know what was one person like me gonna do."

Let me tell you a story. I met with a girl. who had just found out she was pregnant. she had one choice and one choice only. abortion. her mother decided that was what was best for her and there were no other options. well. i thought to myself there is nothing i can do about this so i sat back and didnt say anything. i thought this issue will never change so theres no reason to fight it. she got the abortion and now she live a life of depression and guilt.......... ok that was a lie after the point of i thought there was nothing i could do about it..... ready for the real story. she found out she was pregnant. she had no other option other than abortion. so i gave her the address to a pass pregnancy center, a bus schedule and perfect directions how to get there JUST incase she ever felt the need to go and make a different choice. then i prayed.. and i enlisted an army to pray. pretty soon hundreds if not thousands of people were praying for ONE life. guess what... she went to the pregnacy center the day before her planned abortion appointment and she is due the 25th of october. we just threw an amazing baby shower for her and the people who were there can attest to this. her mother. the same lady who said there is NO other option. that she had to have the abortion stood up and said.... "you have changed my mind." ................ now you tell me that you CANT do anything about or maybe... just maybe ... you DONT want to do anything about it.....

in a few short years when women are waiting til the babies whole body is born except their big toe and they decide... "you know what. i really wanted a girl... not a boy... we will try again...." and a needle is stuck into the soft spot of that innocent life and acid rushes through it tiny brain and burns it to shreads all because its no longer an issue to you cuz you cant do anything about it... i really hope you think about these days when you gave up!

i am here to tell you. you wont see me giving up. I have got one precious life being born in just a few weeks because i refused to say... "its not use, its never gonna change."

an office?

i am laying in bed. completely in awe of how blessed i am.

i have so much. a family who loves and supports me.
friends who look out for me and accept me. : )
two bosses that mentor me and have become my best friends!
i have 20 kids who dont like to do homework, like to punch me when i am not looking and who mean the world to me.
i have a job, and yes... it doesnt pay much but i would take 1 dollar an hour if i knew ONE young life was re-directed or changed. its addicting to help people... try it sometime!
i have a diploma, which i dont deserve but somehow i got it.
i have a car, a house, a bed, a computer, blankets, electricity, money.

seriously what else is there....

oh. and now. i have an office!
its pink, it has a window, a big chair that leans back perfectly so you can put your feet up. and a printer! WOW its the simple things!

count your blessings... i bet you will run out of fingers and have to use your toes.

our private parts....

first. i cant sleep cuz i have done nothing all day and i havent had anything to wear me out....

second. i am at a conference and dave and i heard this awesome speaker who had a passion for what he talked about. he had so many little quotes. the one that just struck me so hard was the question whats your bodys most private part. well obviously working with sexual assualt victims the first thing that jumped into my mind was ya know "private parts" (do we have to talk about it??) but some lady in a quiet voice said "your brain" the speaker got all excited because most people dont think about that as our private parts. the speaker went on to talk about how many kids were "mentally raped" by our society... our schools, the things we see on TV, advertising, internet, crap in books about different theories. i never thought about his before. who knows how many times my mind has been abused by an over zealous KCC professor who needs to get fired, how many times do kids come home from school confused and lost because their teachers talk about nonsense. i know we dont all work in social work or work with kids all the time but maybe its good food for thought... lets not be mind abusers. teach kids the facts. eventhough it might be a little awkward to say certian things or uncomfortable i would much rather a 7th grader hear about porn and its horrible affects on families and thier life than the porn industry getting ahold of them. i would much rather a young man hear about how to treat his girlfriend then the rap industy letting them know how to treat them. i would much rather talk explain homosexuallity to a younger person who is confused than some new age book telling them details they prolly shouldnt know. we have a responsiblity. a choice. a priviledge. if you work with kids, you have kids, your around kids. take the time. they will thank you for it someday and it much better to hear the truth than be "mentally raped" and abused by the world.

thats all....

livin' the dream... continued.

laying in a hotel room for hours on end with nothing to do is.. livin the dream.
swimming in a pool dave peed in is... livin the dream
watching youtube videos and listening to dave singing "take a bow" is livin the dream.
enjoying your last week before having a "real" job is livin the dream!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

POISON IVY IS RAVAGING MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



make it stop.

great day...

the shower is over and was a huge success! we were able to give JJ so much and she was so thankful! its a great feeling to give someone else a smile or a glimmer of hope when they might feel defeated. I really feel like we were able to do that today for JJ and her mom. Her mom who was opposed to keeping the baby said "I gotta say Eric, you have changed my mind about people and i need to say thank you for that." how awesome. we as a group were able to give hope, save ONE life and make a difference all because of our actions. we didnt have to say anthing. we just showed love, we reached out past our comfort zone and made such a huge impression on JJ and her family!

thank you. thank you. for all who attended, prayed, bought gifts, wrote cards, and donated. i cant say thank you enough.

i'm the lucky one.

so today is the big day. the day we have been waiting for. J.J. to come see us and meet us for months!! were going to literally shower her with gifts and encouragment! she amazing. she become a hero to me. i am so lucky to see a life redirected because i was in the right place at the right time. i am a broken, worn out vessel that God chose to fill up and pour out. I am so excited to see JJ and her mom. Its going to be simply amazing!

thanks for all the support!

time flies.

its crazy to think its been 7 years from that awful day where so many lives were lost and families were torn apart. i have been working at manteno middle school all week and its strange to look back and see how much our lives changed after that day. i will never forget watching the second plane run into the tower live. i will never forget hearing cuss words from reporters not bleeped out cuz everyone was starring in disbelief. i will never forget wanting to get home as soon as i could cuz i felt safe there. BUT i will also never forget seeing the millions flock to our GOD. i will never forget how proud we still were to be americans. i will never forget seeing a flag on every house. i will never forget the chants of USA USA around president bush as he tried to rally resuce workers at ground zero. time flies. but we will never forget.

support our troops!

chello,

well i officially dont start my new position til the 29th. but i am doing some community education on staying away from strangers and internet safety to kids in schools. its fun. i also got some poison ivy or something attacking my body and my face at the present moment. its been interesting to watch my eyes swell up and me wanting to gouge them out with a stick! lifes good other than that. lots of opportunities coming up, lots of potential.

i also just got pre-approved for a loan this week which means i am going to start looking to buy a house. pray for wisdom. when i get a house. were gonna have a house warming party.... actually a house warming dance party. boo ya!

love love!

if your reading leave a comment dont just stalk me without me know it.

the dream.

helping people is "livin the dream"
watching people change is "livin the dream"
donating your time to anything and everything you can is "livin the dream"
going back to your alma mater on a weekly basis is "livin the dream"
seeing your parents proud of you is "livin the dream"
getting Chinese delivered on a rainy nite is "livin the dream"
watching office season 4 twice in one week is "livin the dream"
playing golf for free with retired old men is "livin the dream"
graduating from jr. high, high school, and college by the skin of your teeth is "livin the dream"
buying dress clothes for the real world for dirt cheap is "livin the dream"
going to see a race and sitting in expensive seats for FREE is "livin the dream"
leaving the world better than when you found it is......

livin the dream. everyday!

what a day.

i stayed up til 4 am for no apparent reason last nite and I had to be up and out of the house at 7. needless to say i set my alarm for pm instead of am... so i woke up in a frantic at 8 and sprinted out the door at 8:08. i caddied for a bunch of ladies all day who had no clue how to play golf. then i was able to go out and play a nine with a guy i had met there. it was a great morning and afternoon. then it was off to the CRC then shopping for 'real" job clothes.... i got some amazing deals!!!! God def had a hand in helping me find some sweet deals! now. i am home, blogging on a friday nite and i have never been happier.

what an emotional week... i got a job. i cried. i got a myspace message. i cried. haha what a sad, crazy, insane, roller coaster life. I got a job at KC CASA but the hours will conflict with my hours at the community resource center which means i will not be able to be at the resource center everyday. my love for the CRC goes beyond any love i have. its my life. its become my passion. my best friends work there with me. my kids are there. i love the CRC and the thought of not meeting 10 screaming kids running off the bus everyday breaks my heart. the thought of not giving the kids lines to write when they disobey so i can stash them in my secret drawer to show them later makes me sad. to not see my best friend dave everyday and my mentor ron hurts too. i am still gonna be a volunteer and i am pretty sure i will be there the same amount as i am now but just the thought of missing one day is not cool. needless to say i bawled my eyes out because all these thoughts rushed through my mind at once. overwhelmed me. broke me. now i am all better i have realized i have to pay the bills and then sprint to the CRC and let out all my energy!

second. i got asked to be a godfather of a baby that GOD, me and my friends had a huge roll in saving. i once again broke down after reading the message for the 20th time. what an opportunity! what a great way to how God has made himself known in our lives. how awesome to keep in touch with this baby. to hopefully see this baby and his/her mother see the God who created them and has sustained them! God is good. I am blessed beyond belief. wow. wow. wow!

hope everyone has a good weekend!

"use everyday to make the world better!"

Dont want to be a downer, but our society is messed up!

have you ever listened to a story about someone breaking their arm or snapping their leg and it makes you almost throw up everywhere?? sorry to be so graphic, but there is no way to describe how i feel as i sit in court and hear stories of people who take advantage of children, women, men, or the elderly for their own sexual gratification. so many times abusers were once victims.... which makes this vicious circle sad. its hard to sit around perpetrators and not be angry for the horrible affect they have had on their victims. for the next couple years i will be working in the "justice" system to help victims follow their court cases. to encourage them NOT to drop the case just because our "justice" system allows us to drag out cases for 3, 4, 5 sometimes 6 years! who wouldnt want to drop a case after you have to hear the most traumatic experience of your life played over and over and over. I will be reaching out to young men to encourage them to rise above what our society has encouraged them how to look at women. God has given me an huge opportunity to be a light. a light that as Kristin would say doesnt have to move. a light that gives hope to darkness, life to death, to be a simple candle to light up a room of absolute darkness. i am excited about my opportunity to help and bring a mans prospective to this part of our society so often ignored by men. pray for my time their that i might be a light and a witness of the Hope we all find one way or another!

love love

Short but sweet.

its been a day. what a busy summer. between mentoring and working at the Kankakee Community Resource Center life is busy. i want this blog to be a venting source for me and hopefully a place for my friends and family to see whats up in my life. looking forward to getting some readers. leave some comments. love it.