My white horse is in the stable....

... right where it belongs!

So I went to a sexual assault conference and they spent several sessions on giving tips how to engage men in the fight against violence against women. As a man who has joined the movement to fight against gender violence there is something that happens that bothers me. As a man... I do half the work and get twice the glory. I give a valiant speech and get so much praise. I stand around at events and find myself being acknowledged for just being a guy.. and being there! In this fight I refuse to stand on the sidelines but also refused to be acknowledged any more for just being a male. Yes its an honor to be involved but more than an honor its my duty. Its my passion. Its only right!! Any man who sits back and just watches as this movement walks by is one of the offenders himself! I was always taught... Silence is approval.. and since I DONT approve of rape I wont be sitting down. Since I DONT approve of sexual violence I wont be chillin' out saying "Im staying out of it" Since I DONT approve of oppression against women you wont find me thinking I am any more than anyone else! There is no phrase that is more true... "There is no doubt our society has some form of contempt and hatred for women and children. There is no way we could treat and condone the how women and children are treated in our society and not have some form of hatred for them."- Robert Jensen

Famous femanist Andrea Dwrokin said this.. "Men who want to support women in our struggle for freedom and justice should understand that it is not terrifically important to us that they learn to cry; it is important to us that they stop the crimes of violence against us."

So as I see this awful control and violence in our society it wont be my job to cry or be sad or walk in a pair of high heels and have some laughs. It will be my job fight. Fight the selfishness of sick, twisted, controlling men. My job to stand up against the oppression of women and stand up say something.

So if your man enough join the fight to be HUMAN. Its no longer about gender its about equality! And for the women who fight everyday for equality. I commend you. I stand with you. And support you. Someday it WILL end.

I love blogging.

it happened today.

Today was the day. The day I thought social work was the wrong choice for my life. I spent the morning in court with sick disgusting offenders. I spent lunch talking to junior highers about dealing with things way beyond their years. I spent the afternoon in court watching families torn apart by selfishness. I spent the early evening on the phone with upset mothers dealing with stuff they should never have to deal with. At about 9pm I went on a walk and tried to process the day. It didn't happen.

The worlds problems are to much. The scars, pain, and sickness goes way to deep. Its affecting me. It makes me angry, frustrated, and hurt. It breaks my heart, shocks me, and theres nothing I can do to change it. Hearing this crap over and over is affecting me negatively. It hurts friendships, relationships, and me. I dwell on it and have to let it go.

So today it happened. I realized that through all of my passions. My love. And my wanting to change the world it wont happen. All the old, burnt out social workers are right... "You will learn you cant save the world soon" I hate to admit it but they were right. I cant do it. Social work its the worst and the best. It hurts and rewards. Its strengthens you and makes you weak. So today it happened...and it broke my heart... So what should I do?? Keep kicking butt fools! This social worker isnt burnt out YET! The CHAMP is here!

Crossroads.

I sit in court on a daily basis and see hundreds of people who are charged with crimes anywhere from battery to murder, robbery to drug charges. It makes me think of the different crossroads in our lives. I was at a crossroad when I graduated... What to do with my life, where to go next... I look at these people who stand in front of the judge and take a plea agreement for 5 years in DOC and I cant help but wonder what these people are thinking, most have family members sitting in the back broken hearted. Most have done something stupid and regret it I am sure but so many are repeat offenders. They have a previous record have committed crimes while out on bond. I just look at them and wonder when they reach that crossroad what they do. Some head down the same path. They get out of jail the stand at the fork in the road.... They can be successful or find themselves back in court in just months or years. I guess I say all this to be so thankful for the guidance given to me at those crossroads. After high school I was pushed into college after college I was encouraged to get a job and be successful. I cant say thank you enough for the people who support me in all of my endeavors and I can honestly say I owe any success I have to the people who have supported and backed me.

So I say to those at the crossroads and making a huge decision.. you know the right way to go... just go... and never look back!

Celebrity...

Bush... lets face it... hes not the smartest guy in the world. He didnt surround himself with the brightest of advisers either. Its over on Tuesday and some will put their hope in another human who will let us down. Hes young, black... kinda, a celebrity, a leader, and the hope of the 'world'. I am not buying it. I have been watching this inauguration continuous coverage where they talk about the same thing for hours and hours. I find myself getting a little worried.. I feel as if our country is going to be extremely disappointed. Millions have put every ounce of trust into a young guy who speaks of change... he honestly hasnt changed much. He hasnt sat in his Senate seat in over two years. When he was in his seat he rarely if ever voted for anything significant. Obama is a celebrity. He is chummy with Hollywood and all of the crazies out there. He will keep his allegiance with Hollywood. So I say to our fickle country... I give it four years... We will be calling for his butt in four years and no one will care if he is black, green or hot pink. Republican or democrat it doesnt matter. He wont make good on his promises and we will soon be shocked to know we have been had but another politician. So Mr. Obama. Enjoy your celebrity status and stop comparing your self to Lincoln because Lincoln acted on his words and seeing how you havent even been in office one day you have lots of promises to live up to!

things I didnt learn in college...

I never learned that I would get snow days from a job!
I never learned the world was so cruel.
I never learned networking is so valuable.
I never learned some agencies cant get over stuff and get along.
I never learned you would get a Christmas bonus from a non-profit!
I never learned bills come so fast.
I never learned you would have to give up things you love.
I never learned how to contain your emotions while talking with clients.
I never learned to give up on someone.
I never learned that just because your young doesnt mean you cant change the world
I never learned to ever let someone tell me you can do that.
I never learned to give up. Strive to see every kid saved, every adult given hope, and every teen a chance!

Thank goodness for the stuff I didnt learn!

this is it.

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader.
John Quincy Adams

what a great quote! I have always wanted to do this for everyone I have worked with but I would have never considered the feeling of wanted to see people better off as a leader. I consider it an advocate, a voice, and hope. What a huge respondsibilty to be able to inspire others. Not quite sure if I have done it, but I know I have found a quote that gives me something to shoot for! Thank you John Quincy Adams for inspiring me... you truly were a leader!

Hoots '09