humbled.

Over the past several years I have had the honor to serve in Kankakee IL as a social worker, advocate, mentor, tutor and friend to many. My recent marriage to Laura E. Baldauff-Hoots lead me to Indianapolis. I had a job, then I didnt, so I went and found another than the first job wanted to talk about a job again. Needless to say I spent the last month unemployed and humbled.

Success in my life has been measured by clients, mentor kids, friends, and networking. If I judged success so far in Indianapolis by how I judged it in Kankakee County I would consider myself a failure! I finally realized why I needed a month off... I needed to see, again, that I cannot save lives, I cannot change paths, I cannot force my wishes on others. ONLY the individuals I work with can do make changes and I have the HONOR to help them with whatever they need through their healing process and battles!!

I sat on a lounge chair, couch, and golf cart for the last month and realized I needed to save myself... I was burnt to a crisp. Don't get me wrong... I am not complaining, but realizing how much of myself I put into my "work" aka life. The other SW peeps out there completely know what I am getting at, we are beautiful, strong, amazing, and caring people. We will never get the credit we are due for how much we care, BUT that doesn't bother us. We love what we do and the people whose lives we come in contact with are changed by what we do. I knew I had the privilege to help people, but forgot to help myself. My soul was broken, hurt, and more passionate than ever. My mind was tired, running, and fearful. My will to change the world was stronger than ever but my faith in the goodness (word?) of the world was non existent.

So the last month was a free break... something I would have never wanted but a high power knew I needed it! I start work on Monday and I am pumped. I am excited for the opportunity to work with children and develop more friendships in Indiana.


So I say all of this, to remind myself and the other people workers out there.... its ok to chill, its ok to take a break, but you better come back because we need you!