know why I'm here.

Wow. What a week! Its been a great week. Tons of progress, meeting new people, and challenging myself. Im in a school full time which has been a dream of mine for a long time. The staff is great. So many are so dedicated and really want to do anything to improve the life of their students. In conversation, I am able to see where the hearts of some of these teachers are. They inspire me to work harder for the kids they work so hard to teach. One thing that popped up to me today is life is so much about relationships. I pulled out one of the few quotes I have held onto from a legalistic preacher I heard summer after summer.... Rules without relationship equals reprobate. As stupid as it sounds I found that its very true. Before I ever try to work with a childs behaviors I go for the jugular, their friendship. I do silly to earn the trust of a child who has been hurt, beat up, stepped on and lied to. I go for a lot of BIG motions. Loud claps, extra extra praise and the classic touchdown arms signal. If that doesnt work... I bust out the secret handshake trick. I am running out of different styles, but it works. It all goes back to relationship. I got one of the biggest compliments from a co-worker this week who took the time to shadow me to start to better understand our job. As she was leaving she said, I get it, you are involved in every aspect of these kids life and it works. WOWZERS! So much fun too! Ive been blessed to be thrown into a school that accepted me. I hear Mr. Hoots, mr hoots, mr hoots and its makes it all worth it.

One last thing, try this. I was walking the lines looking to help the boys remember to tuck in shirts so they dont get in trouble. I hear "mr hoots! why didnt you play football this morning" before I could respond a girl who talks before she thinks (sound familiar?) says "because hes so GAAAY!" oooooo. all the kids in the immediate area.

Option 1. Call her out. Embarrass her in front of her classmates and ruin the opportunity to build a what??? relationship.

Option 2. Pawn her off on a teacher and move on with my day.

Option 3. I say. Come with me. We go to the back of the line and chat about my choices in life our my choices. I explain to her I am married, happily. I encourage her to find the a different "insult" because using the term "gay" is becoming less accepted in this world, which I am a fan of, incase you wondered. We begin to walk far behind the line and we chat about consequences that could come from calling any other adult in the building GAY. I can see she is regretting the joke already and I say. Its ok. next time you have got to make a better choice, and we knuck it up.

Later. I hear Mr Hoots. MR HOOOOTS. You da best! From that same girl who could have been trash talking me if I chose option 1 or 2. ah. relationships.

humbled.

Over the past several years I have had the honor to serve in Kankakee IL as a social worker, advocate, mentor, tutor and friend to many. My recent marriage to Laura E. Baldauff-Hoots lead me to Indianapolis. I had a job, then I didnt, so I went and found another than the first job wanted to talk about a job again. Needless to say I spent the last month unemployed and humbled.

Success in my life has been measured by clients, mentor kids, friends, and networking. If I judged success so far in Indianapolis by how I judged it in Kankakee County I would consider myself a failure! I finally realized why I needed a month off... I needed to see, again, that I cannot save lives, I cannot change paths, I cannot force my wishes on others. ONLY the individuals I work with can do make changes and I have the HONOR to help them with whatever they need through their healing process and battles!!

I sat on a lounge chair, couch, and golf cart for the last month and realized I needed to save myself... I was burnt to a crisp. Don't get me wrong... I am not complaining, but realizing how much of myself I put into my "work" aka life. The other SW peeps out there completely know what I am getting at, we are beautiful, strong, amazing, and caring people. We will never get the credit we are due for how much we care, BUT that doesn't bother us. We love what we do and the people whose lives we come in contact with are changed by what we do. I knew I had the privilege to help people, but forgot to help myself. My soul was broken, hurt, and more passionate than ever. My mind was tired, running, and fearful. My will to change the world was stronger than ever but my faith in the goodness (word?) of the world was non existent.

So the last month was a free break... something I would have never wanted but a high power knew I needed it! I start work on Monday and I am pumped. I am excited for the opportunity to work with children and develop more friendships in Indiana.


So I say all of this, to remind myself and the other people workers out there.... its ok to chill, its ok to take a break, but you better come back because we need you!

im the lucky one.

i love my blog cuz i can say what i want and no one can stop me. ha

today i was honored, stunned, and overwhelmed to say the least to get an award from the CRC!

Stevie, one of our kids said all kinds of nice things that i thought he was saying to someone else and the person i was thinking deserved all the nice words to. the last line of the "speech" said "but most of all in our eyes, we know that Eric Hoots is a great success at bringing out the best in us." and the first thing that came to mind was it was the other way around... the CRC... the kids there, the people who are involved in running it, and the supporters of it are the ones who have changed my life. when i found the CRC i was lost. i was discouraged, heartbroken and needing a place to make me smile the moment i walked in the doors i knew i found the place. so here is what the community resource center is to me...

its a place where i feel loved and appreciated
its a place where i have found two of my best friends
its a place that allows me to make mistakes and then teach me what i did wrong
its a place that lets me build relationships with amazing kids.
its a place that helps me meet people in our community and be involved
its the place that developed my passion for helping others.
its the place that helped me work on my jump shot... that is still awful
its the place that allowed me to be me.
its the place that made me look forward to 4 and to getting my kids off the bus.
its the place that taught me how to learn all aspects of social work
its the place where i found the two greatest mentors that respect me and have given me so much
its the place the brings out the best in ME...

so blog readers from the CRC... I am the lucky one. I could never thank you enough for the passion, acceptance, and love you have shown me from day one. i could never say thank you enough for the memories and the laughs. i never wanted to leave and if i could live off an hour and a half salary everyday... i would be there! so thank you for the honor and surprise... and thanks for just being there for me.

CRC 4 life. check!